One hundred uncertain steps
by Daisy5
Summary: Sequel to 'Moving Forward, mostly'. Angel and Cordelia's lives aren't always so full of pain and betrayal... warning:gratuitious scenes of cuteness!!


Title: One hundred uncertain steps.  
  
E-mail: e.large@talk21.com  
  
Pairing: Cordelia and Angel of course!  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: Romance  
  
Spoilers:Nothing we haven't seen already. Seriously AU 3  
  
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.  
  
Feedback: Yes please.  
  
Distribution: You want it, you got it. But be a peach and let me know  
  
Authors note: Sequel to 'Moving forward...mostly'. I decided to shelve the angst I had planned for this sequel, what with it being the season of goodwill to all fic readers and all. There doesn't seem to be a plot either, but what the hey, we all need a happy right now. Warning: There are several scenes of gratuitous cuteness in this story. You've been warned! ***  
  
"Cordelia explain to me again why we're doing this?"  
  
  
  
"Because we love Wesley."  
  
"OK, I get that part, but do we really have to spend an entire evening with whatshername?"  
  
"You know her name Angel. Katherine's not that bad, she's just a little....over enthusiastic."  
  
"She's evil."  
  
"This coming from the man that thinks penguins are the unholy creation of Satan."  
  
"You gotta admit there's something weird about a bird that moves better through water then it does on land. It's just...wrong."  
  
*My fearless warrior.*  
  
"We're going Angel, we'll have dinner, we'll chat and smile and you'll try to keep your eye twitch under control when talking to Katherine OK?"  
  
"Do I have a choice?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Figured as much."  
  
"And she's not evil. Well....not in the regular sense of the word."  
  
*The truth is I don't want to go either. There's no way I'm telling Angel that though, watching him flinch every time Wesley's girlfriend opens her mouth is hilarious, well worth the entry fee.*  
  
"We're going to be late Cordy."  
  
"If you stopped bugging me and let me get ready then we won't be."  
  
"Well if you're going to use logic against me I can't argue with you."  
  
"Sweetheart?"  
  
"Yes Cordelia?"  
  
"Go away."  
  
*Angelus, the Scourge of Europe, the most feared vampire in the world, every Slayers worst nightmare just stuck his tongue out at me and stomped out of the room. Sometimes I can hardly believe that this is the same vampire that use to sit in the dark and lurk in the shadows. Oh don't get me wrong, he still does that, but not all day everyday. We've all come a long way in the last few years, from Sunnydale outsiders to an unbreakable family in one hundred uncertain steps.  
  
I no, I no, get on with it Cordy, all you really want to know is if I had a girl or a boy. Who was right, me or Angel?*  
  
***  
  
Meet the newest member of Angel Investigations.....  
  
The Hyperion Hotel was cloaked in an awed silence, innocence and beauty had come to life before their very eyes. A miracle so pure it could make the heavens weep just to be in its presence. Life was filled with so many horrors, shadows lurking in wait to trip you over, scuff your knees and bring your world falling down around you. The members of Angel Investigations knew this only too well, they expected the trials and pain, the demons and death, it was their work, their mission, their life. So when a ray of light so delicate in its perfection broke through the gloom it took their breathe away.  
  
"If you tilt your head and squint your eyes she sort of looks like my Aunt Mary." Wesley broke the gentle quiet with the finesse of a jackhammer.  
  
"My daughter does not look like your Aunt Mary." Angel muttered and wrapped his arms around the mother of his child. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head anyway, all he could see was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. His daughter. "She's perfect, just like her mother." Angel kissed the top of Cordelia's head and held the two most important women in his life close.  
  
"You're a little cutie, yes you are, you're a little cutie. Booga boo, booga boo." Gunn cooed, his face broke out into a brilliant smile when a tiny hand reached out and wrapped itself around his thumb. "I think I want one of these."  
  
"Fred honey I'd keep your legs crossed for a while if I were you." Lorne chuckled at the terrified look on the petite woman's face.  
  
"Not right now though, right Charles, you're talking about way way off in the future, possibly when people ride in hover cars, waaaay in the future. Right Charles?" Fred asked him desperately, her boyfriend stifled the laughter that threatened to slip from his lips and pacified her with a small nod.  
  
"You're very quiet Cordelia, are you OK?" Wesley asked his old friend when he realised she had very little after returning form the hospital that morning.  
  
"I'm wonderful." Cordelia gave him a soft smile. "Just tired and a little overwhelmed." She ran a finger down the small slope of her daughters nose, marvelling at the delicacy of her.  
  
"Did it hurt a lot?" Fred asked her, Gunn's words still swimming around her head.  
  
"It's worth it." The Seer murmured, Cordelia turned to Angel, her eyes wet with happy tears. "Look what we've made."  
  
Wesley, Lorne, Fred and Gunn watched their friends with affection as they shared a tender kiss, each one of them felt a surge of protection towards them and silently vowed never to let anything hurt their friends.  
  
"So, do you have a name for our little bundle of sweetness?" Lorne asked them when Cordelia finally dragged her lips away from Angel's and leant back against his chest.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Emily. Emily, this is your family." Angel beamed at them.  
  
The baby's response to meeting the people that already loved and adored her was a ear splitting wail that made everyone, human and demon, wince.  
  
"That's what I felt like doing when I first met you people." Gunn laughed.  
  
***  
  
*Our little Emily.  
  
Angel still owes me a very expensive pair of shoes for being right.  
  
I don't remember much about being in labour, it's all a haze of pain and epidural. Sweet sweet epidural. I think at one point I told Angel that if he ever came near me again I would cut off his penis and nail it to the wall. I had to promise him afterwards that I didn't mean it, he looked rather nervous for a while.*  
  
"Cordelia have you seen my new throwing axe?"  
  
*Why do men need a map and a compass to find anything?*  
  
"I'm guessing it's in the weapons cabinet, you know, with the rest of the deadly weapons. Angel you're not bringing an axe to the restaurant are you?"  
  
"Of course not. I'm taking a broadsword."  
  
"For the last time Katherine is not evil, she's not even a demon! She's just a regular, painfully bubbly human being."  
  
"When she starts yammering on about her cats you'll be begging me to cut off her head Cordy."  
  
*True.*  
  
"Can we have one night that doesn't end in sporadic bursts of violence, please Angel?"  
  
"Fine, but I'm not promising anything. There seems to be a lack of you being ready by the way."  
  
"Nothing gets passed you does it big fella?"  
  
"That's why I'm the champion."  
  
*I will never get tired of that silly grin of his. Angel can be such a fool sometimes, he doesn't let many people see that side of him though which is a shame. There were times last year when I thought neither of us would smile again. We've all been through some really tough times, situations that shook our foundations and brought us to our knees. They're all I seem to tell you guys about, the pain and angst that makes up a large amount of our lives so I've decided to tell you about the good times, quiet, normal stuff that makes all the other crap worth it. Maybe I'm becoming a softy, but quite frankly I don't care, we all need a little sap in our lives from time to time.*  
  
***  
  
Domestic bliss.  
  
Cordelia leant sleepily against the doorway of the lounge, she'd woken at three am to find the other side of the bed horribly empty and had gone in search of Angel. She had found him standing next to the window, dressed in nothing but grey sweats, pale skin lit up by the moon, humming softly to the child in his arms.  
  
"My very own Kodak moment." Cordelia sighed happily.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing up?" Angel turned around when he heard her, whispering so as not to wake up Emily.  
  
"Can't sleep without your cold butt next to me." She grinned and joined the pair. "I didn't hear her wake up." Cordelia ran her fingers over the soft dark hair on their child's head, she had inherited her fathers spiky style, Cordelia hoped it would calm down before Emily started to date. Angel had declared that no daughter of his was ever going to date.  
  
"She didn't. Just another bad dream, I figured some baby time would help."  
  
"Did it?"  
  
"Always does." Angel murmured with a soft smile on his face. He had woken in a cold sweat, a nightmare from his past replaying in his mind and turning his stomach. A year ago his first instinct would have been to get out of the Hotel and stalk the streets of LA, looking for redemption in the solitary night. But not anymore, instead he had kissed Cordelia lightly on the forehead and thanked the Powers for the gift that she was to his life then carefully plucked his sleeping daughter from her cot. Emily had scrunched up her round face in annoyance at being disturbed but had stopped short of voicing her vexation when the familiar scent of her father surrounded her. Angel had felt the gut wrenching pain of moments before vanish with the unconditional acceptance he received from his two month old daughter.  
  
"You should go back to bed Cordy, you look exhausted." He frowned when he saw his girl drop down on to the sofa, rubbing her still throbbing temples.  
  
"I'm fine." She sighed then bit her tongue when noticed Angel's raised eyebrow. They had made a deal that there would be no more dismissive "I'm fine"s between them. "Just a little vision hangover is all, you'd think the powers would have eased up on them a little, give a girl some maternity leave." Cordelia groused.  
  
Without a word Angel handed her their sleeping child and sat down, pulling her back against his chest, Cordelia relaxed instantly with coolness of his skin soothing the tense muscles in her back. With a familiarity that made her smile Angel drew small circles with his thumbs across her temples, quieting not only the ache in her head but also the images the powers felt they needed to forever burn into her brain.  
  
"Maybe we should think about finding a way to..." Angel started.  
  
"No. Not going to happen." Cordelia cut him off, knowing exactly what he was going to suggest. Find a way to give up the visions. They were hers and there was absolutely no way anyone else was going to get their grubby hands on her visions.  
  
"But.."  
  
  
  
"No buts, less talking, more miracle fingers."  
  
"Emily better not inherit your bull headed stubbornness." Angel sighed and resumed his task, moving down from her temples to the elegant slope where neck met shoulders.  
  
"If she doesn't get it from me she'll get from you. Face it, it's in her genes." Cordelia murmured as her head flopped lazily on to his shoulder. "And I'm not bull headed, just insistent." She kissed a line a cross his jaw, loving the way his day old stubble felt against her lips. Angel wrapped his arms around Cordelia and his child, engulfing them both in their own private universe.  
  
"Cordy?" Angel whispered into her ear.  
  
"Hmmm?" Cordelia sighed.  
  
"Are you ever going to marry me?"  
  
***  
  
*Isn't that just the million dollar question.*  
  
***  
  
A hard days night.  
  
"Shh baby, please." Cordelia rocked the screaming child in her arms. "You've been fed, watered, changed, burped. What else is there? Please Em, stop with the screaming already." She begged her daughter as she paced the lobby, her naked feet slapping against the floor. The baby's wails reverberated around the hotel, Cordelia was coming close to her very last nerve. For five months Emily had been the sweetest, quietest baby ever born, they couldn't believe their luck at how well behaved she was but then Bam! She'd found her voice and hadn't stopped screaming since.  
  
"Just ten minutes of quiet, that's all I want, ten minutes so I can worry about your no good father and then we can both cry as loud as we want." Cordelia held her red faced daughter in front of her. "Do we have a deal?"  
  
Emily took a deep breath and voiced her dissent. Loudly. Cordelia sighed and shifted the child against her shoulder.  
  
"You couldn't be stoic like your father could you, oh no, you have to take after me." The young woman grunted under her breath.  
  
"How long does it take to kill a few vamps huh?" Cordelia asked her dark haired daughter, Angel Wesley Gunn and Fred had left the Hotel four hours ago on a simple vampire de- nesting, they should have been back three and a half hours ago. Cordelia dialled Angels cell phone and listened to it ring for a few minutes before his voice mail switched on. "Dammit Angel where are you?" She hissed then hung up, drifting between scared and pissed off.  
  
It took her a moment to realise that blissful silence had finally returned to her home, Cordelia tentatively peeked at her daughters grumpy face, huge brown eyes stared back at her and the young woman couldn't help but smile. She had never seen such annoyance on the face of some one so young.  
  
"Have you got that screaming fit out of your system now?" Cordelia asked her quietly, Emily grasped a small fist full of her mothers hair and tugged at it. "I'm not very good at this am I?" She sighed and kissed Emily's forehead. The momentary peace was shattered by the front doors swinging open and the slightly battered and bruised members of Angel Investigations talking and laughing raucously.  
  
Emily began to scream again.  
  
Cordelia's last nerve twanged dangerously.  
  
"Oh my god Cordy, that was the coolest thing in the world, we got there and there was only a few vampires but then we fell through this trap door thing and then there were about a million of them and I was sure we were going to die when these spiny blue hell demons came out of the walls but we killed them! We killed them all! I only killed a few but the boys were throwing punches and wielding swords just like in the movies! It was wonderful!!" Fred ran out of breath, her eyes shining with excitement. Cordelia plastered a smile on to her face, Angel was the only one that noticed that it didn't quite reach her eyes.  
  
"That's great Fred. Is anyone hurt?" Cordelia forced out as she rocked the screaming infant against her hip. Her eyes darted over each of them, assessing their possible wounds.  
  
"Men." Gunn thumped his chest. "Men no get hurt! Men unbeatable!" He boomed causing Emily to yell a little louder just in case someone else might be getting the spotlight instead of herself.  
  
"Charles you're such a goof." Fred beamed at him lovingly, Cordelia felt the momentary urge to slap that damn smile off her face.  
  
"Cor you should have seen it when I beheaded one of the Phlixem demons." Wesley bounced up and down on his toes as he re-enacted his slayage to a very uninterested Cordelia, still running on adrenaline from the fight and not feeling his injuries yet. Just you wait till morning, she thought snidely to herself.  
  
"We rule!" Gunn shouted happily.  
  
Cordelia watched her last nerve snap and go flying out the window.  
  
"I'm very glad that it went well and that you all had such a super time. Well done, pats on the back all round. " Cordelia said in a dangerously calm voice that made them all go very quiet, apart from Emily of course. "Angel could you please take your daughter, maybe you'll have more luck with her than I've had." She deposited the squirming child in to the vampires hands. "I have laundry to fold." Cordelia glared at him for a moment then turned around and stalked upstairs.  
  
She slammed the bedroom door shut.  
  
It made her feel a little better.  
  
Cordelia sat down on the bed and scowled at her reflection in the mirror on the other side of the room, the odd thing was that she wasn't upset with what she saw staring back at her, her hair was a mess, her bra strap had slipped down her arm from beneath her vest top and her jeans were old and ripped at the knees yet she looked alive, flushed, vital. A mother. The fear that had been simmering just beneath the surface of her skin for the last five months boiled over and she found she couldn't bare to look herself in the eye, scared of what she might find there.  
  
"Just fold the laundry Cordy, everything will be OK if you just fold laundry." Cordelia tried to convince herself as she lumbered over to the dressing table. She picked up a small blue baby grow and rubbed the soft material between her fingers, tears pricked at her eyes and she quickly blinked them away.  
  
"Cordelia what's wrong?" Angel asked from behind her, she hadn't heard him enter the room yet she didn't jump in surprise at his voice. When living with a vampire a woman learns to expect sudden voices behind her.  
  
"Is Em still crying?" She asked ignoring his question and carrying on folding.  
  
"Wes started telling her about his days at the Council, she fell asleep instantly." Angel grasped her shoulders and forced her to face him. "Cordy, I'm sorry."  
  
"Why are you apologising?"  
  
  
  
"Honestly? I'm not completely sure but that tone of voice you used downstairs is only ever brought into action when you're pissed at me, so I figured it would just be easier to get the apology out there as soon as possible." He gave her a nervous lopsided smile and waited for the shouting and chest prodding to begin.  
  
"I'm not mad at you Angel, not really." Cordelia slumped wearily against his chest. Worried, Angel cradled her face in his hands and titled her chin up to look at her.  
  
"Cordy what is it?" He stroked his rough thumbs across the smooth line of her jaw, his eyes searching for answers in her own.  
  
"I'm not...I don't...." Cordelia took a deep breath and finally voiced the one of the fears that kept her up at night. "I'm not very good at being a mother Angel, I just...I don't think I can do it."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Angel frowned in confusion.  
  
"What if we screw Emily up really badly? I don't know what I'm doing half the time Angel, what if I'm doomed to make the same mistakes my mom did?" Cordelia bit the plump flesh of her bottom lip, her eyes wide with quiet desperation.  
  
"You're not your Mother Cordy." Angel brushed away a tear that had slipped free. "We're not going to screw our child up, well not too much anyway. You're a wonderful mother, everyday I see a new part of you blossoming, a whole new side of your personality shines through and it's a joy to watch. So far I think we've done pretty good, we just need to take one day at a time OK? You have to stop worrying so much sweetheart." He rubbed strong circles on to the small of her back.  
  
"But that's what I do now, I worry. I worry about whether Em is too warm at night, I worry that Fred's taco consumption is bordering on dangerous, I'm worried that Wesley resents the fact that we're so happy when he has no one to go home to at night, I worry about the fact that Wolfram and Hart haven't hatched any evil...."  
  
Angel silenced her with a kiss. She hated when he did that, easily quieting her anxieties and fears with the simple press of his lips on hers, her knees would go weak and her heart would beat too fast leaving her wondering what day it was.  
  
"...plans for a while." Cordelia murmured when he finally pulled away.  
  
"I love you. Emily loves you. You're a spectacular mother. The rest we'll muddle through like we always do, OK?" Angel tucked a renegade strand of her hair behind her ear. Cordelia nodded mutely and tried to calms the fears that were trying to rise up for attention once again. "What else is going on in this head of yours?" Angel knew there was something else bugging her, he had long ago learnt how to read her signs.  
  
"Four hours to take out a vampire nest Angel? Four hours? Did you stop for take out on the way there? Maybe catch a movie at the drive in?" She put her hands on her hips and with a flick of her hair she was Cordelia Chase again, a gleam in her eye and a spitfire tongue.  
  
"It was a little more then just a few vampires Cordy...." Angel scratched his head and apologised with his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, demons galore. Whatever." Cordelia rolled her eyes theatrically at him. She slid her hands over Angel's chest and beneath his leather jacket, for a second the vampire thought he was about to get lucky but when she jerked open the jacket to reveal a blood stain spreading across his shirt he knew she was just checking for injuries. He hissed when she unexpectedly poked her thumb into the hidden wound.  
  
"Not hurt huh?" Cordelia arched her eyebrows at him.  
  
"It's just a scratch, already healing." Angel shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the chair. No amount of stain remover was going to get rid of the sticky blue goo that was splattered across it. Just another casualty of the good fight. Cordelia pursed her lips and unbuttoned his shirt, grimacing at the purple bruise that spread from his shoulder across his chest to his hip. Mercifully the wound was small but Cordelia could see that it had been deep enough to cause him a fair amount of pain.  
  
"Are demons using baseball bats now?" Cordelia muttered under her breath as she lightly traced the diagonal bruise with her fingers.  
  
"Actually, yeah. Some people have no respect for the game." Angel said dryly hoping to bring a smile to Cordelia's troubled face, instead she frowned then walked to the bathroom to collect the first aid kit, not that the vampire actually needed it, it just made Cordelia feel better.  
  
When she came back into their bedroom Angel was draped heavily across the bed, his eyes closed, looking for all the world like the dead man he was. Cordelia tried not to think about that too much. Without making a sound she crawled over the bed and straddled his hips, keeping her weight on her knees in case he had other injuries he was keeping from her.  
  
"You're not as immortal as you think you are Angel." Cordelia whispered almost to herself, Angel opened his eyes at her weary words and rested his hands reassuringly on her thighs.  
  
"Cordy..."  
  
"Just be more careful, we all need to be more careful from now on. We've got too much to lose." She wiped away the dried blood from the gash on his side, the skin around it was red and angry but healing. Soon there wouldn't even be a scar. Cordelia shifted to move but Angel sat up and caught her wrists before she could leave.  
  
"Cordelia, what's got you so spooked tonight?" Angel asked her softly.  
  
"I don't know Angel, I....we've been too happy, life has been too good. We never get happy and good. We get heartache and despair, I'm use to that, I can deal with that. I think I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop." Cordelia admitted.  
  
"It's not going to drop, I won't let it. I promise you that nothing is going to hurt any of us Cordelia, we'll be OK. Everything will be OK." The vampire swore to her.  
  
"But..."  
  
"No buts Cor, let yourself be happy. You never know, you might like it." Angel nipped at her bottom lip with blunt teeth. "I know I sure as hell do." He grinned and Cordelia felt the dark cloud over her head start to drift away.  
  
"You're just glad you're finally getting some." She wriggled on his lap and felt a deliciously familiar bulge against her butt.  
  
"I'm a simple man." Angel slipped the vest and bra straps from her shoulders revealing unobstructed golden skin for his delectation. He ran a trail of cool kisses across the top of her breasts, his hands slipping down around her butt, squeezing the firm globes teasingly. Cordelia threaded her hands through his hair and down his neck, scratching gently at his sensitive skin. She giggled when his deep purrs rumbled through his chest and vibrated around her. Angel slipped his strong hands underneath her top and with knowing fingers.....  
  
***  
  
*I think we should stop there don't you? Oh quit complaining, it's not like you haven't heard it all before. Honestly, you guys and sex, it's like you have one track minds.*  
  
"Wow."  
  
"You like?"  
  
"Wow. You look...wow Cordy."  
  
*That's the exact reaction I was looking for. I love that I can still knock him speechless in a little black dress, emphasis on the little. After dinner I have plans for it and Angel, that is if we actually get to the restaurant, by the way he's.....kissing my neck that...might be...a little....difficult.God, he makes me crazy.*  
  
"Angel...what are...you doing? We should.....oh that's good...."  
  
"You look really really good Cor....I'd go as far as to say you look good enough to eat...."  
  
*If you could just...give us a minute...mmm....I'd really appreciate....just piss off for a while will ya? Ta.*  
  
***  
  
My baby love.  
  
"Can you say papa? Say papa, I know you can. Say papa." Angel said to his daughter, Emily threw her red building block with surprising accuracy at him. "We seem to have a little confusion over 'say' and 'throw' don't we Em." The vampire rubbed his forehead, she had quite an arm on her for an eleven month old baby girl.  
  
"She'll be wielding a broadsword before you know it." Wesley danced her teddy bear in front of her, she grasped at it wildly every time the English man brought it close to her but it always seemed slightly out of reach to her. Emily eyed her other blocks thoughtfully.  
  
"I'd settle for a few words. The baby book says..."  
  
"I thought Cordy had hidden that..." Gunn covered the child's ears with his hands, "...damn book." He took his hands away. No swearing in front of the baby was a rule that was often broken but they all tried. Angel had a horrible feeling his daughters first coherent word would be 'crap'.  
  
"I found it, it was with your game boy hidden in the basement." Angel tickled Emily's little foot and smiled as she squirmed and tried to shuffle away on her butt only to be stopped by Wesley's outstretched legs.  
  
"You found my game boy? Where was it? Can I have it?" Gunn's eyes lit up.  
  
"Too late, Fred snagged it from me last week. Made me promise not to tell you where it is so don't even try." Angel blew a raspberry on his daughters foot and narrowly dodged another flying building block. She had a temper like her mother.  
  
"Typical." Gunn muttered and resumed colouring in Emily's Sesame Street book with an overly large pink crayon.  
  
"Found anything yet Cordy?" Wesley called to the dark haired woman who was seated at the office counter with Fred, looking through dusty tomes for the demon she had seen in her vision.  
  
"Well the gypsy look is hot this winter if that helps." Cordelia mused as she flipped through the latest issue of Vogue.  
  
"Surprisingly no." Wesley muttered in annoyance but said nothing further, they had days before they had to rescue the damsel in distress so the ex-watcher wasn't too worried.  
  
Fred took off her glasses and rubbed her tired eyes, two hours of none stop demon research gave the petite Texan a whole new level of respect for Wesley. How it had befallen to herself and Cordelia to do the research whilst their three warriors played on the lobby floor with Emily she wasn't sure, she had a feeling she'd missed the vote.  
  
"So when are we going to meet you're new girlfriend Wes?" Fred spoke up.  
  
"Well it's Tuesday today so....never." He told them with a saccharine smile.  
  
"Ah c'mon English, we'll be nice, we don't bite." Gunn glanced at Angel. "Well most of us don't."  
  
"Funny." Angel snarked at the young black man.  
  
"What's so wrong with the girl that you don't want us to meet her?" Cordelia asked without looking up from her magazine.  
  
"There is nothing wrong with Katherine, she's...delightful. Wholly untouched by the evils of this world. She's sweet and innocent and pure and I'll not have you people break her spirit like you do with all the women I meet." Wesley groused as he tried unsuccessfully to de- tangle Emily's small fist from his hair.  
  
"Harsh but true." Gunn nodded.  
  
"You're uncle Wes is an anal retentive big baby isn't he, can you say anal retentive big baby Em?" Angel cooed at her, ready to dodge any block shaped missiles that flew his way. Emily banged her wooden spoon against the floor and bounced up and down on her well padded butt.  
  
"Ba ba ba bah bah bah." She shouted happily every time she thumped the spoon.  
  
"Close enough." Angel smiled and kissed the top of her head.  
  
Fred's stomach growled angrily at her.  
  
"That's it, I'm done with the evil research." She huffed and closed her book. "I'm hungry. Need sustenance. Someone feed me before I fade away all together." Fred slumped dramatically over the counter. "Don't...have the energy...to call...for take out."  
  
"That interprets as 'Charles go get me tacos' for those of you with untrained ears." Gunn rolled his eyes at his melodramatic girlfriend.  
  
"Please not tacos again. Anything but tacos. How about pizza? Chinese? Hell I'll even cook but for the love of everything good and holy no more Tacos." Cordelia begged her.  
  
"But I like...."  
  
"Taaaco."  
  
A shocked silence swallowed the room.  
  
"What did you just say?" Angel asked his daughter.  
  
"Taaco." Emily blinked, seemingly surprised herself at the word that had fallen from her mouth. "Bah bah bah bah bah." She resumed banging her favourite spoon, completely uninterested that her first full word was junk food.  
  
"Fred." Cordelia raised her eyebrows at her friend.  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault she...on the bright side Em said her...you're going to hurt me now aren't you?" Fred chewed her bottom lip.  
  
"Oh yeah." Cordelia smiled and rolled up her sleeves.  
  
***  
  
*OK, you have my full attention once again. Sorry about bailing like that but you know how it is, Angel's a difficult man to say no to. Not that I ever actually want to say no though.*  
  
"You've got thirty minutes to get ready. Think you can do it gorgeous?"  
  
*It'll take me a half hour just to sort out my hair after what Mr Amorous here has done to it.*  
  
"I'm superwoman Angel, didn't you know that?"  
  
"I figured that out years ago Cordy."  
  
*He's such a smooth talker, that's the Liam in him. Or maybe the Angelus. I dunno, the vampire has so many personalties it's hard to keep track at times. All that matters is that I love each and every one of them.  
  
Jeez, now I'm getting all schmaltzy.  
  
I don't' want you to think that I've completely rid myself of Queen C, Sunnydale super bitch, but when you grow up you realise how unimportant shit like that is, I'm sure you know what I mean. Don't sweat the small stuff right?  
  
The last time I did for no good reason was a couple of months ago, we had a few visitors from a certain mouth of hell and....well....lets just say I was as civil as an orange and something of that complexion. What do you mean you don't understand that? It's Shakespeare people, christ, go pick up a book from time to time. And now I'm getting snarky because I know I'm about to tell you something which shows me in a less than favourable light.  
  
I guess it's not the first time.*  
  
***  
  
When ex's roll in.  
  
"Are my ears bleeding? It feels like my ears are bleeding." Angel groused as he searched his pockets for the front door key of the Hotel. "It wasn't that bad." Cordelia rolled her eyes and made a silly face at Emily, who in return smacked her mother on the forehead.  
  
"You are joking right? I saw your eye twitching woman, you hated it as much as I did, admit it." The vampire said grumpily.  
  
"Maybe, but at least I had the grace to hide that fact unlike certain vampires that shall go unnamed." She muttered back at him, tempers were running short this evening, the couple were both tired and tense, even Emily had been extra grouchy. Wesley's girlfriend seemed to have that effect on them all.  
  
"Will you be unlocking the damn door any time soon or should we get comfortable out here for the night?" Fred grumbled under her breath from behind them. It really had been a long evening.  
  
His jaw clenched with tension Angel finally turned the key in the lock to find it was already open, he was more than certain that he had locked up before they left for the dinner from hell.  
  
"What is it?" Cordelia said from behind him, a supportive hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It appears that we've had visitors." Angel whispered pushed open the door and took a hesitant step inside. Standing before him on the other side of the lobby were three people he really hadn't expected to see. He opened his mouth to say hello but he couldn't seem to form the words.Annoyed with his impression of a statue Cordelia pushed passed Angel, eager to see what had stopped the vampire in his tracks so suddenly.  
  
"Oh wonderful. This is just what I need tonight." She muttered and shifted Emily onto her hip when she saw her past standing before her.  
  
"It's good to see you too Cordelia." Buffy Summers scowled at the other woman's less then warm welcome.  
  
"Whatever." Cordelia huffed and stomped into the office.  
  
"Buffy." Angel finally found his ability to speak and nodded at the small blonde woman.  
  
"Hey Angel." The slayer gave him an small smile.  
  
"You look....well." Why was it that whenever this woman was in the same room as me was I turned into stoic guy? Angel wondered to himself, he vaguely noticed that the voice in his head a had a distinct Cordelia tone to it.  
  
"Thank you...you too." Buffy shifted nervously. Cordelia listened to the awkward silence from where she was in the office pretending to check the answer phone.  
  
"Hi there" Fred bustled forward. "We haven't met before, I'm Fred." She held out her hand at the handsome young man that had been shooting untrusting glares at Angel ever since they had walked in.  
  
"Xander." He nodded and shook her hand, but still not taking his eyes completely from the vampire, the distrust he felt borne of a past he refused to let go of. Fred frowned at his unenthusiastic greeting and turned to the one familiar face amongst the three.  
  
"Willow." The petite Texan embraced the unsuspecting red head in a bone crunching hug that forced all the air out of Willows lungs.  
  
"Hey...Fred." She squeaked, relieved when Fred stepped back and turned to Buffy.  
  
"It's wonderful to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you. Well, not that much really cos Angel, Cordy and Wes don't talk about Sunnydale that much, on account of the badness and everything. So, it must be nice to be alive again huh?" Fred said just to fill the weird silence that was hanging in the room.  
  
"It's..err...cool." Buffy smiled half-heartedly at the odd little woman standing next to her.  
  
"So to what do we owe this particular pleasure? Is there an impending apocalypse heading our way? Will the four horsemen be knocking on our door asking for sugar?" Cordelia strolled back into the lobby, tired of hiding from her past in the office with her daughter, she knew that she should be more welcoming, at least to Willow, but the blonde slayer just seemed to bring out the inner bitch in her.  
  
"No apocalypse. We just thought we'd come see you guys, it's been a while." Willow smiled at her instantly making Cordelia feel bad. The seer gave her an apologetic smile and hugged her one time enemy with real affection.  
  
"Sorry Will." Cordelia whispered into her ear, when she pulled away Emily had her fist buried in the other woman's hair, a habit they were all waiting for her to grow out of.  
  
"Who's this gorgeous little pumpkin?" Xander asked what all three Sunnydalers had been wondering since Cordelia had walked in the front door. Xander had grown bored of staring the vampire and slayer and joined the others, it was almost like old times with the Scoobies watching the Angel/Buffy tragedy from the peripheries.  
  
"It really has been a while hasn't it?" Cordelia said with a worried look over at Angel, he and the blonde were talking in hushed tones. Maybe not long enough, she added to herself.  
  
***  
  
An evening with....friends?  
  
The awkward silence that Cordelia was growing accustomed to in her life had once again reared it's ugly head as they all sat around the kitchen table. The seer was starting to believe that Angel had lost all basic tools of speech, she resisted the urge to kick him in the shin.  
  
"She's...." Xander nodded at the little girl that was currently playing peekaboo with her Aunt Fred. "....yours. You're her...."  
  
"Mother?" Cordelia helped him out. She didn't like the looks of bewilderment she was receiving from the three Sunnydale warriors.  
  
"You had a...." Buffy gestured wildly with her hands.  
  
"Baby?" She sighed. A long night was getting even longer and it was only nine pm. They hadn't even started on who the father was. That was a whole different can of worms that was just waiting to be upturned, Cordelia hoped Angel recovered the use of his mouth before that subject came up.  
  
"Wow. That's....." Xander paused between switching his gaze between Cordelia and Emily.  
  
"Weird? Unnatural? Against all laws of nature? A sign of the end of the world?" Cordelia muttered as she traced small circles on the table top with her fingers.  
  
"Actually I was going to go with cool." He smiled and covered her hand with his. She saw Angel tense up at the contact and felt a rush of happy that she knew was immature, but quite frankly Cordelia didn't care.  
  
"Congratulations." Buffy said with as much sincerity that she could muster right then.  
  
"Thanks." Cordelia plastered on a false smile and beamed at the diminutive slayer, although her tone was anything but warm.  
  
"So when did this happen? Is the Father still around? Oh, do you even know who the Father is?" Buffy heard the words that trickled out of her mouth but some how couldn't stop them.  
  
"Excuse me?" Cordelia bristled, claws at the ready.  
  
"C'mon Cordy, you're hardly a Saint are you? We all know what you got up to in high school." Buffy was starting to think she came back from the dead without an off switch.  
  
"Buffy." Angel growled a warning at her that made Willow jump and shift in her chair nervously.  
  
"Maybe someone would like to enlighten me as to what it was that I 'got up to high school'?" She pulled her hand out of Xander's and pinned Buffy with a cold hard stare.  
  
"Well Xander wasn't the first you had in the broom cupboard was he?" The Slayer flicked her hair and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Tell me Buffy, how's Spike these days?" Cordelia scowled at her.  
  
Blonde and brunette glared at each other over coffee cups, neither knew where this hostility towards one and other came from but it had always been there, sometimes simmering under the surface and sometimes spilling over for all to see.  
  
"Should I....umm...put Emily down for the night?" Fred stood up to leave breaking the silence, she foresaw a fight brewing and wanted to be as far away as possible.  
  
"That's OK Fred, I'll do it in a little while." Angel reached out for his daughter and gave Fred an apologetic smile. "Why don't you turn in, get some sleep." With that the little Texan bid her goodbyes and hurried upstairs out of harms way.  
  
"Have you both quite finished?" Angel said as Emily slapped her chubby hands on the table. He really didn't need two of the most important women in his life trading barbs with each other at the moment, he was still suffering form his Katherine induced headache.  
  
"Maybe we should have called instead of just turning up." Buffy sighed, things between herself and Angel were still difficult, all she had wanted was to see him and build a few bridges, her life was such a mess right now, the slayer had missed his comfortable shoulder that she use to cry on. She hadn't expected the overpowering presence of Cordelia to be permeating the vampires home so intensely.  
  
"Yeah, ya think?" Cordelia snapped at her then huffed when she received a warning glare from Angel.  
  
"Xander, Willow, I must apologise for being 'laconic guy' as Cordy would say, you just took me by surprise I guess. After the night we've had Cordelia and I are already a little tense." Angel gave them both a genuine smile that shocked the pair, they'd never seen that before.  
  
"Difficult case?" Willow spoke up when it was clear Xander was lost for words, he'd never heard the vampire say so much before.  
  
"No, dinner with friends. Wesley has an...interesting new girlfriend. She collects glass pony figurines....truly terrifying." Angel shuddered comically making Willow splutter with laughter, even Xander couldn't hide the smile that crept across his face. This wasn't the vampire he had barely tolerated in Sunnydale, he wondered what it was that had changed him.  
  
"How's Dawnie?" Angel asked the blonde slayer that was watching him play with the baby girl on his lap, he seemed so natural with her, so loving, almost like he was....  
  
"She's fine...Cordelia, you never told us who Emily's father is? Care to enlighten us?" Buffy asked the brunette sharply, understanding dawning inside her like a slap in the face.  
  
"I'm Em's Father." Angel stated proudly before Cordelia even opened her mouth to spit out a come back.  
  
"You?" Buffy blinked in shock, Angel simply nodded and kissed the top of his daughters head.  
  
"How is that even possible? I thought vampires could only shoot blanks?" Xander spluttered.  
  
"Alternative dimension." The vampire shrugged by way of explanation, strangely it seemed to be enough for the young man who just nodded with understanding.  
  
"That's...wow. You're a father. Really...wow." Willow said genuinely amazed.  
  
"Pretty wonderful isn't it?" He grinned stupidly.  
  
"You and Cordelia....slept together?" Even when Buffy said the words out loud they didn't make any sense. Why would her Angel sleep with....  
  
"We're in love." Angel answered Buffy's unspoken question and smiled at the mother of his child. Relief flooded through him when Cordelia smiled back at him. The affectionate moment was shattered by the hearty laughter of one Alexander Harris. The couple glowered at him until he stopped.  
  
"Sorry, I thought that was a joke. My bad." Xander tried to remove his foot from his mouth.  
  
"I...I don't understand. You and Cordelia? Why? How? Why?"  
  
"Buffy deal with it and move on already." Cordelia sighed, she had been trying to avoid this scene for a long time. But since when has avoidance been a friend of Cordelia Chase?  
  
"For once in your life Cordelia why don't you just shut the hell up?"  
  
"But then I would never see that look on your face whenever you realise you're not the freaking centre of the universe, I would be depriving the world of a wonderful thing."  
  
"Shouldn't you have grown out of being a heinous bitch by now?"  
  
"Why should I when you're still the same dumb blonde you ever were."  
  
"C'mon guys." Willow tried to break the verbal tennis to no avail.  
  
"Exactly how did you trap Angel into having a child with you Cor? Did you drug him, a spell maybe?"  
  
"Sorry Buff, unlike you I don't need to conjure the dark arts to get a man."  
  
"Is there a man in LA you haven't spread your legs for?" Buffy growled angrily.  
  
"Would it have killed you to stay dead just once?"  
  
"Will the pair of you just stop already!" Angel snapped at the two and shut them both up, he ignored the steely looks he received. "This isn't High school anymore children, you're both better than this." He shamed them, Angel was the king of guilt.  
  
Cordelia stood up, her chair scrapping loudly across the tiled floor, she turned her back to the group and rinsed out her cup. She hated feeling uncertain of her relationship with Angel, she knew he loved her but the Slayer seemed to have the power to get under her skin. She was Buffy Summers, the chosen one, who could compete with that? With her insecurities laid bare before her Cordelia counted to ten and took a deep breath. Angel sighed, he was too old for this shit.  
  
"Buffy we'll talk about this later, not that there's anything for us to really talk about though. We were over along time ago, you've moved on and so have I, although Spike is possibly the last guy I thought you'd end up. But I guess that's how you feel about Cordelia. I love Cordelia very much, nothing is going to change that."  
  
"But she's such a..." Buffy's face scrunched up in distaste.  
  
"I'd think very carefully before you finish that sentence Buffy." Angel warned her, his tone telling her this wasn't something she had a say in.  
  
Willow shifted her gaze around the kitchen for something to look at that wasn't a slayer, a vampire or a seer, it was so very different from the last time she was here, almost a year ago. In fact the whole hotel had a different air to it, it felt safe, familiar, it felt like a home. She let her eyes roam over the father and child seated near her, she could see the resemblance now, her fuzzy dark hair, wide inquisitive brown eyes and chubby cheeks were a delightful mix of both her parents. With a silent chuckle Willow realised that they would have trouble with boys when Emily grew up, especially if she inherited her fathers charm.  
  
"Would you like to hold her?" Angel asked the powerful witch when he noticed her looking at them affectionately. Willow nodded and held out her hands for the infant. She laughed out loud when a tiny hand tugged on her hair.  
  
"Yeah, she does that a lot. We're hoping it's just a phase." Angel untangled her hand and deposited a small teddy bear in her flailing arms.  
  
"Wes!" Emily yipped happily and proceeded to suck on its ear.  
  
"She named her teddy after Wesley? That's so sweet." Willow cooed, she was pretty sure her uterus just skipped a beat.  
  
"Not exactly, Em calls everything Wes at the moment. Me, Cordy, her teddy, the pizza guy, we all get called Wes." Angel grinned proudly.  
  
"Wesley must love it." Xander chuckled and sipped his cooling coffee.  
  
"He did skip around the Hotel for a week, but we're not sure if it's because Emily said his name or the fact that he was finally getting laid on a regular basis." Cordelia said to her ex boyfriend making him choke on his drink, she slowly turned around, determined to be the woman she had grown to be and not the spoilt little bitch she once was. Meeting Buffy's awkward stare Cordelia silently called a truce with the blonde slayer.  
  
"Eew, Giles jnr having sex? I really didn't need that mental image. It's like ten times worse then Giles doing it. OK, why did I say that? Now I have two disturbing images in my head." Xander shuddered.  
  
"Hey, no bashing of Watcher mine. I'll have you know he was, no is, quite the honey in his own odd English way." Buffy stood up for the only stable male figure in her life.  
  
"I always wondered about you two." Angel said to her with a smile, it disturbed Buffy that he wasn't the first to say that to her.  
  
The vampire reached out for Cordelia's hand, with a small smile she let Angel drag her to him and sat on his lap, he kissed her bare shoulder and she automatically relaxed against him.  
  
"So..." Willow rocked the sleeping bundle of warmth in her arms. "If the cat fighting is over how about you tell us how you go together and how this little one came to be?" She grinned at them.  
  
***  
  
*OK, lets get one thing straight, Buffy and I aren't going to be best of friends. After that initial outburst of meanness we sat and chatted about our lives, we smiled and had coffee because I know Buffy is still an important part of Angel's life and probably will always be. No amount of bitchiness on my part is going to change that. I love Willow and even Xander, they're good people, I hate to say it but we have a lot in common. I guess I do with Buffy too but can you really see the pair of us sharing a bottle of wine and bonding over George Clooney? Yeah, me neither.  
  
So I'll be polite and cordial to her for Angel's sake, no more name calling and eye scratching. It was a one time slip, maybe I was still a little insecure of our relationship, I mean the whole Angelus thing had just happened a few weeks before, we were all still hurting. When something like that happens it knocks the air out of you big time, you can't expect to bounce back without a little residual anger to boil over at inappropriate times right?  
  
What do you mean you don't know about that? I'm sure one of us told you, Fred said she would.  
  
You don't?  
  
Whoops. Next time then.*  
  
"Cordy you've got five minutes to get your butt downstairs or we're leaving without you."  
  
*Doubtful. I have the car keys.*  
  
"Angel, I'm driving."  
  
"Yeah, you're really not Cor."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I would like to get there in one piece and Emily is still nervous from the last time you commandeered the wheel."  
  
"Oh it wasn't that bad!"  
  
"Tell that to the cyclist you nearly decapitated. Four minutes now. The sooner we go the sooner we can leave, and Cordy, if Katherine even so much as utters the words 'poopy head' tonight I will have no choice but to kill her very very slowly. I mean what the hell is a poopy head any way, and why does she insist on calling me it, it's not like I'm...."  
  
*He's talking to himself now so I'd better get going before Angel throws a real conniption. For the record like Katherine, I think she's good for Wes, a little light in his otherwise shadowy life.  
  
Well, I just wanted to show you that we have happiness in our lives, Emily is getting bigger every day, Angel and I should be getting married soon barring any upcoming apocalypses, Wesley is falling in love and Fred and Gunn are so sugar plum sweet together it could make the most cold hearted cynic go awww.  
  
Maybe there is such a thing as happily ever after.  
  
But don't quote me on that.*  
  
the end. 


End file.
